Not Fighting Back Does Not Mean Saying Yes: Understanding Nepal’s Consent Gap

Why didn’t she scream? Why weren’t there bruises? Why did she continue speaking to him afterward? Why did she wait before reporting it?

These questions often appear when someone reports r@pe. They are based on the belief that a “real” survivor must fight back, escape, show visible injuries, and report immediately.

But trauma does not follow a fixed script. Some people fight, and some run. Others freeze, remain silent, comply out of fear, or struggle for months or years to understand what happened. None of these reactions automatically means consent was given.

What Consent Means Under Nepal’s Law

Section 219 of Nepal’s National Penal Code defines r@pe as sexual intercourse with a woman without her consent. Sexual intercourse with a girl under 18 is treated as r@pe even if she appeared to agree.

The law also states that consent obtained through coercion, intimidation, threats, undue influence, misrepresentation, kidn@pping, or hostage taking is not valid consent. An agreement from a person unable to understand the nature of the act is also not legally valid.

This means the legal question is not simply whether someone said “no” or physically resisted. The real question is whether consent was freely and voluntarily given.

Not Fighting Back Does Not Mean Consent

The human body does not always respond to danger by fighting or running. Some people experience tonic immobility, an involuntary freezing response that can temporarily prevent movement or resistance.

A 2017 study involving 298 women who visited an emergency r@pe clinic in Stockholm found that 70% reported significant tonic immobility during the assault, while 48% reported an extreme form of the response. The study also linked this reaction with a greater risk of post-traumatic stress disorder and severe depression.

A person who freezes is not choosing to participate. The body may become still because it believes resistance or escape is impossible.

The “Real R@pe” Stereotype Is Misleading

Many people imagine r@pe as an attack by a stranger, outdoors at night, involving a weapon, visible injuries, and strong physical resistance.

A study of approximately 400 r@pe cases reported to a UK police force over two years found that the majority were committed by people known to the victim, often occurred inside a residence, and usually did not result in physical injuries. The reported cases rarely matched the complete stereotype commonly associated with “real r@pe.”

A survivor may know the accused, willingly meet him, enter a room, or have had a previous relationship with him. None of those facts automatically establishes consent to a particular sexual act.

Why Survivors May Remain Silent

Survivors may delay reporting because of fear, shame, family pressure, financial dependence, threats, concern about reputation, or fear that they will not be believed.

A 2022 Kathmandu Valley study involved 42 respondents, including 10 r@pe survivors living in shelters. None of those survivors had filed a complaint. The study identified fear of damaging family prestige as a major reason and found that 90% of the survivors had experienced social stigma. Because the sample was small, its findings should not be treated as nationally representative, but they provide insight into the barriers some survivors face.

Delayed reporting does not automatically mean an allegation is false. Silence may be a response to trauma, fear, dependency, or social pressure.

Ending Silence Requires More Than Laws

Preventing sexual violence requires more than punishment after an assault. Survivors need safe reporting systems, confidential health care, psychological support, legal assistance, and institutions that respond without judgment or blame.

International organizations such as UNFPA emphasize the importance of survivor centered services and coordinated action across health, justice, education, and social support systems. This matters because fear of stigma or disbelief can prevent survivors from seeking help even when legal protections exist.

What Nepal's Data Shows

Sexual violence remains a serious concern in Nepal. According to the Nepal Police Annual Fact Sheet on Gender-Based Violence (FY 2080/81), police registered 2,507 r@pe cases during the fiscal year. When other sexual offences including attempted r@pe, child se*ual abuse, abduction and r@pe, trafficking and r@pe, indecent behaviour, unnatural intercourse, and m*rder after r@pe are included, the total reaches 3,446 registered sexual offence cases. The report also shows that most identified offenders were known to the victims, challenging the common belief that sexual violence is usually committed by strangers.

However, police statistics only reflect incidents that are reported and officially registered. They cannot measure the number of survivors who never come forward.

The 2016 Nepal Demographic and Health Survey found that 7% of women aged 15–49 reported experiencing sexual violence at some point in their lives. Yet many survivors sought help from family members or neighbors rather than law enforcement, suggesting that official police data likely represents only a portion of all incidents

The Harm Does Not End When the Assault Ends

Sexual violence can have serious physical and psychological effects long after the incident. The World Health Organization links sexual violence with injuries, depression, post-traumatic stress, anxiety, sleep problems, substance use, unintended pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and su*cide attempts.

WHO also warns that the true scale of violence is likely higher than reported because stigma prevents many survivors from speaking openly or seeking help.

These effects help explain why a survivor may freeze, remain silent, delay reporting, or struggle to describe the experience consistently. Trauma is not proof of consent, and it does not always appear in the way society expects.

The Reporting Deadline Has Changed

For many years, survivors in Nepal had only 35 days to report rape. After years of advocacy, the deadline was extended to three months in 2012, then one year under the 2017 National Penal Code. In 2022, Parliament amended the law again, increasing the reporting period to two years for adult survivors and two years from reaching the age of majority for minors.

Although this was a significant improvement, many lawmakers, rights advocates, and international organizations argued that even two years may not be enough. They say survivors often need much longer to come forward because of trauma, stigma, fear, intimidation, or threats. According to the UNDP dialogue report, experts noted that many incidents of sexual violence are never reported because of stigma, shame, intimidation, trauma, threats, and fear. 

Not fighting back does not mean saying yes. Freezing does not mean consent, and silence does not mean an assault never happened. As UNFPA reminds us, "the wound you don't see is the one that hurts the most."

Understanding trauma, recognizing consent, and supporting survivors are essential if Nepal is to close the gap between what the law says and what survivors actually experience. Consent is not measured by bruises, screams, or how quickly someone reports an assault. It is measured by one simple question: Did the person freely and voluntarily agree?

Trauma does not affect everyone the same way. Some survivors fight. Some run. Others freeze, stay silent, or take years to understand and talk about what happened. These are well-documented trauma responses, not signs that an assault did not occur.

Nepal's laws recognize that consent cannot exist when it is obtained through fear, threats, coercion, or manipulation. But laws alone are not enough. Misunderstanding trauma, believing harmful stereotypes, and blaming survivors continue to prevent many people from seeking justice.

Understanding how trauma affects memory, behavior, and reporting does not remove the need for evidence or due process. It simply helps us judge cases based on facts rather than myths.

Closing Nepal's consent gap begins with changing one belief: not fighting back does not mean saying yes.

Source:

Nepal Law Commission, National Penal Code, 2074, Section 219.

Möller, A., Söndergaard, H. P., & Helström, L. (2017). Tonic immobility during sexual assault: A common reaction predicting post-traumatic stress disorder and severe depression. Acta Obstetricia et Gynecologica Scandinavica

Waterhouse, Reynolds and Egan, Myths and Legends: The Reality of Rape Offences Reported to a UK Police Force, 2016.

Khanal, Attitudes Towards Rape and Societal Stigmatization of the Victims, Patan Pragya,

UNFPA Nepal, International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

World Health Organization, Violence Against Women, updated June 18, 2026

UNDP Nepal, Lawmakers Hold Public Dialogues Over the Statute of Limitations in Rape Cases (2022); Nepal Law Commission.

Nepal Police, Annual Fact Sheet on Gender-Based Violence, FY 2080/81.